I really like your humor, Gary 🙂

Not all hotels have the standard, as they write about. The only thing, as should be correct is to look for, how many stars the hotel has. Each star has each own meaning about, what the hotel do offer their customers.

Many French people do understand and speak English, even if they don’t wish to, especially not in France. But you can make yourself understandable in English in a restaurant.
Big places do also have a menu card in several languages.

There are snow in many parts of Europe now, also here in Spain, just not where I live. I live too close to the sea, I think. If we get a little one year, it will melt very fast again.